At the height of the Osmond's popularity in the 70's, Merrill
Osmond came close to losing his battle with manic depression.
Today, for the first time, he spoke about that dark chapter in
his life, with our Kimberly Houk.
Merrill Osmond has been on a stage performing for more than 40
years. But he's carried with him a struggle so entangling he
almost gave up, and once came close to taking his own life.
Merrill Osmond/ Perfomer: "I didn't want to live, and
yet here I am. I have all the wonderful blessings of a family,
and I understood the gospel messages. I understood what my
relationship with deity is about, and I still didn't want to
live."
Diagnosed with manic depression at a young age, Merrill has
spent years taking drugs to stabilize his emotions.
Merrill Osmond: "When you're a teenager and you're
having number one records and everyone's out having fun, and
you look at it and you see no joy. You see nothing but pain
and heartache, and all you see is clouds."
Stardom at a young age carried a heavy price. A childhood full
of hard work and demanding people only added to his
depression.
Merrill Osmond: "You feel like you're worth nothing,
and depression creates those feelings. Boy, it's a tough
road."
A calmness finally came into Merrill's life when he started
his own family. At that time, he started studying about
depression and finally had a personal break through a couple
of years ago.
Merrill Osmond: "Today, my eyes are clear. I don't have
any depression. I'm taking a lot of natural medication, and
I'm really kicking it."
He says learning to love himself and having a deeper
understanding of his relationship with God were the tools he
needed to overcome his devastating illness.
A book about Merrill's struggles with depression is now in
bookstores.
If
interested in reading more in Merrill's book
click here
for ordering information:
I am
filled with great compassion this day for those who suffer.
My prayer is that this message will be read with the spirit of
calmness. If done so, the promise granted by the Holy
one, even he who has suffered the greatest, and granted mercy
unto all will consume your heart and mind bringing peace to
your soul this day. I believe this whole heartily. Those who
know me can testify that I have gone through many trials in
this life. Struggling, losing, and even failing in areas I
thought I would never be tested in. I have asked the question
so many times saying, Why Me? Why have I been persecuted
against and allowed to suffer so? Why did so many bad things
have to happen to me when I only tried to be a good guy and
followed God's commandments? What did I do to deserve the
many problems dished out to me over my life time? Well after
many years of trying to understand these questions and taken
the hits that mortal battle can bring, I have had the answers
given to me in a very unique way. In a way that has testified
to my soul that after a trial WILL come the blessing. For
this I am sure and must speak of this day. The mystery
surrounding trial must be viewed with spiritual
eyes; otherwise your perception will be clouded. ~ Merrill
Osmond
